Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Cut me up a phat line! I'm ready to snort some yesterday!!!

I'm finally back from the holidays!!! I understand that for many of my readers my blog is their only source of news and entertainment, which is why I am so very sorry for not updating sooner... you must have been very lonely :(
I promise I'll never do it again!
The 10th annual MediaWise Video Game Report, (for those of you wondering what annual is it means "once a year." Which is also 364 yesterdays ago!) came out yesterday and it is a doosy! For the last five years I have been reusing this list as my x-mas list so my mom knows which games to get me! and the games this year sound so awesome!!! here is the list with comments:
  1. Far Cry :this one has you hunting people in the jungle and then you get to stab people and watch them bleed!!!
  2. F.E.A.R.
  3. The Warriors :in this one you are in a gang that likes to beat up on people!!! You can rob people and there are hoes everywhere!!!
  4. Stubbs the Zombie in Rebel Without a Pulse : this game features cannablism (I always wanted to try that)! and also zombies! to further emerse yourself in the game try it while snacking on this!!!
  5. True Crime: New York City :This game is supposed to be like real life in new york city! In it you are a cop who used to be a drug dealer only you got caught but then they let you out of prison to unleash your own unique brand of justice on criminals in new york!!! Talk about some "True Crime"!!!
  6. Blitz: The League
  7. Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories : this game is supposed to be a sex simulator!!! It also lets you kill cops, your parents, and the president! and rape small animals!!! (at least thats what I heard from Hillary Clinton)
  8. God of War
  9. Doom 3: Resurrection of Evil : Awesome title!!! But it would be even cooler if it had even more titles, like this: Doom 3: Resurrection of evil: Revenge of the devil :Here come's the pain!!!
  10. Urban Reign
  11. Conker: Live and Reloaded
  12. Resident Evil 4 :see comments for number 9
I love it when yesterday is this good!
Also I don't know if you remembered but yesterday was also the birthday of the beloved musician and funny man, Paul Shaffer!!! Paul Shaffer is best known as being a beloved musician and funny man! On a personal note Paul Shaffer is one of my idols, I met him 596 yesterdays ago in New York with my dad. We went to see that show that he's on called the Letterman's show! It turns out that Pauly is a big fan of yesterday too! He signed this photo for me and told me I was a cat!!! Paul is so funny!!! No paul, you cat! You cat, paul!!!
Well, that's it for yesterday!!!

Thursday, November 10, 2005

If yesterday were a holiday, it would be better than christmas!!!

Let me just start out by saying that yesterday's post (I felt it was a really awesome post) has sparked some harsh critisism from some of you (via my e-mail), spicifically about how much I really love yesterday. Come on! I'm just gonna respond by telling you the same thing I tell anyone who cares to ask, If I could, I would make everyday yesterday including tommorow and today! Yesterday was that cool! Anyway...
Let's see... what happened yesterday...
Torture? Boring! Oil companies are gouging? Tell me something I didn't not already haven't known. Hey 11/9 is 9/11 backwards... I didn't know
that! and that's pretty awesome!
Wow!!! A
green dog!
I almost forgot! What makes yesterday the greatest day ever, was that it was the day that that green dog was born. I totally love green dogs even more than regular dogs, which aren't usually green. One thing cool about green dogs is that nothing much is known about them. They could have cool super powers like maybe being super strong or really cute or flying powers or the power to bark lasers or something else!!! I would totally be really happy if I had a green dog. We could go to the park or school and girls would want to see my green dog and they would ask me why he was green and I would say I didn't know but that he might have super powers and they would pet him and say they liked him and then we would talk and maybe make out! If all that happened today then maybe today would almost be as cool as yesterday! Almost!!!
Oh my god I just noticed! The green dog is totally licking that other dogs balls in that photo! Green dogs are so crazy!!!

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

I love yesterday's first post!!!

Oh, my god! I'm so excited! Why am I so excited, you may ask? Because today is the first post of my new blog called: "I love Yesterday!!!" It is a blog about one of my favorite times ever; Yesterday! If you've ever seen those great TV shows like "I love the 70's", "I love the 80's", or even the lesser known "cult hit", "I love the 1800's" then you'll know exactly what to expect here. If you don't then that's "too bad" because I hate explaining things!
Retro Alert: if you love yesterday too, then read on for some awesome memories!!!

Here we go!!!
Do you guys remember those PHASR guns that the government unveiled yesterday? Gosh, it feels like it's been like, a really long time scince they were unveiled, but it was really just yesterday! You remember how they said it could be used to temporarily blind people who drive through roadblocks and stuff? I remember thinking at the time, "do you really want to blind people who are driving at high speeds through a roadblock? wouldn't they crash into something, like maybe the smart guy holding the PHASR gun?" Way to think things through Army! If I had developed this gun I would have made it shoot something smarter, like Remorse. Make the terrorist think twice about what he was doing! Talk about yesterday's technology!!!
Well, that's it for today, see you tommorrow (or the next time my mom let's me use the computer) for more about yesterday (today)!